The Day I Stopped Being Her Backup Plan

I used to think I wasn’t a simp. I thought I was just being “nice.” But looking back, I wasn’t just nice—I was available, always waiting, and hoping for crumbs from a woman who never saw me the way I saw her.

Her name was Mia.
Pretty, smart, magnetic. One of those women who could talk about the most boring thing and still make you pay attention like your life depended on it.

And me?
I was the guy who said “yes” before she even finished the question.

• She needed a ride at 11:30 PM? “I’m on the way.”

• She needed someone to listen to her rant about men treating her badly? “Tell me everything.”

• She wanted someone to check her business proposal? “Send it, I’ll review it now.”

• She wanted a “favor”? Done before she even said thanks.

And the worst part?
She didn’t ask me to do these things.
But I volunteered for everything because deep down I hoped she’d wake up one day and think,
“Wow, this guy is always there for me… maybe he’s the one.”

But reality was harsher.

One time, after I picked her up from a bad date (yes, I really did that), she leaned back in my passenger seat and said:

“Why can’t I find a man who treats me the way you do?”

I smiled.
She didn’t mean I was that man. She meant men like me.

After that night, something shifted.
Not immediately—but the seed was planted.

Over the next weeks, I noticed things I pretended not to.

• She always replied fast when she needed something.

• She replied slow when I needed something.

• She flirted when she was bored.

• She disappeared when she was happy.

One day, the breaking point hit me harder than I expected.

I messaged her:

“Hey, you free to hang out this weekend?”

She replied:

“Ahh sorry I’m going out… hehehe 🥺💗 next time?”

“Next time” had become her favorite lie.

And then I saw her Instagram story that night.
She was on a date.
Not with me.
Of course.

It hurt. More than I admitted.
Not because she owed me anything—she didn’t—but because I realized I put myself in that position.

I wasn't her friend.
I wasn’t her partner.
I wasn’t even a potential option.
I was just… the emotional support character in her movie.

That night, I did something uncharacteristic:
I didn’t respond.

I didn’t block her.
I didn’t confront her.
I just… withdrew my effort silently.

The next day she messaged me:

“Heyyy are you alive HAHAHA”

I replied hours later:

“Yeah, busy with things.”

And for the first time, it wasn’t a lie.

Because instead of orbiting her, I went to the gym.
I worked on my business.
I talked to people who reciprocated energy.
I rebuilt the self-respect I had quietly given away piece by piece.

Days passed.
Then she messaged again:

“You’ve been quiet lately. Everything okay?”

I replied:

“Yeah, just focusing on myself.”

And that was it.

No bitterness.
No drama.
No guilt.

Just acceptance.

Did she chase after that?
A little, yes.
She got confused because her “safe option” wasn’t on standby anymore.

But by that time, I didn’t need her validation.
I didn’t crave her attention.
I didn’t want to be her emotional crutch.

And that’s how I got out of being a simp.

Not by hating her.
Not by turning cold.
But by realizing I deserved the same energy I gave—and that I should reserve my effort for people who value it.