The Cryptographer of Every Comma and Period: Decoding the Silence of the Woman I Love

My name is Julian. I’m a data analyst for a logistics firm in Makati. My entire life is built around patterns, trends, and predicting outcomes based on small shifts in information. I’m paid to see what isn't there, and unfortunately, I’ve brought that obsession home with me. Specifically, I’ve turned it toward Isabel.

Isabel and I have been "best friends" for four years. We talk every single day, mostly through chat. To anyone else, our messages look like normal conversation. But to me, they are a complex code that I spend hours deciphering. I don’t just read her words; I read the timestamp, the punctuation, and the agonizing gaps between the "typing..." bubble and the actual reply. I’ve convinced myself that if I can just master the hidden meaning in her syntax, I’ll finally find the moment where her friendship turns into something more.

Last night was a perfect example of the madness. I sent her a funny meme at 8:15 PM—something about a cat that looked like her grumpy neighbor.

She replied at 8:42 PM with: "Haha cute"

I sat on my bed, staring at those two words for an hour. My brain started the analysis immediately. Usually, she uses two "ha’s" (haha) when she’s actually amused, but if she adds a third (hahaha), it means she’s in a great mood. But this time, there was no emoji. No "lol." No exclamation point. And she took twenty-seven minutes to respond.

Analysis: She’s distracted. Or she’s annoyed. Maybe she’s with Diego.

Diego is the guy she’s been "seeing but not seeing" for three months. He’s a freelance photographer who only replies to her when he needs a favor. I spent the rest of the night scrolling back through our chat history from three years ago, comparing her response times. I have a mental spreadsheet of her moods. If she uses a period at the end of a short sentence, she’s mad at the world. If she sends a voice note, she’s lonely.

I justify this obsession by telling myself I’m being "attentive." I think that by knowing her mood before she even tells me, I’m being the soulmate she hasn't realized she has.

Around 11:30 PM, she messaged again: "You still up?"

My heart did a somersault. I waited exactly four minutes to reply so I wouldn't look desperate. "Yeah, just finishing some work. Everything okay?"

"I'm just overthinking things. Goodnight Jules."

That was it. I didn't sleep. I spent the next four hours dissecting "overthinking things." Was she overthinking about us? About her career? Or was she crying because Diego didn't like her latest Instagram post? I checked her "Active" status on every social media platform. I saw her like a post about "letting go of what doesn't serve you" at 2:00 AM.

Conclusion: She’s heartbroken. This is my chance to be the hero.

This morning, I skipped my gym session and went to her favorite bakery. I bought a box of the expensive macarons she likes—the ones that cost as much as my daily meal budget. I drove to her office and left them with the receptionist with a note that said: "Saw these and thought they might help with the overthinking. - J"

I spent the whole day checking my phone. My productivity at work was zero. I was waiting for the "OMG thank you" or the heart emoji that would validate my research.

At 4:00 PM, she finally messaged: "Hey, thanks for the treats! So sweet of you. Actually, they really helped because I was so stressed about what to wear for my date with Diego tonight. We’re finally talking things out. Wish me luck!"

I stared at the screen until the light dimmed and it went black. I saw my own reflection—eyes bloodshot from no sleep, face pale from the stress of a problem that wasn't mine to solve. I had spent all night decoding her "mood" only to realize the mood was excitement for another man. I had spent my money to fuel her energy for a date with the guy who treats her like an afterthought.

My phone buzzed again. "Art, are you there? Do you think the blue dress or the black one? blue for 'chill' or black for 'serious'? Help me decode the vibe lol"

I looked at the message. I know exactly what the blue dress means to her. I know exactly how she feels when she wears the black one. I am the world's leading expert on Isabel's "vibe," and I'm being used as a consultant for her romance with someone else. I started typing my reply, explaining why the blue dress is the better choice for a "reconciliation" mood. I am a data analyst, but I’m failing to see the most obvious pattern in my own life: I’m the one spending all my processing power on a system that is never going to give me the output I want.