I Sent Everything I Had, and She Never Even Loved Me Back

My name is Renzo, and I’m from the Philippines.

I met her online. Her name is Elena, and she lives halfway across the world. At first, it was just chatting. Friendly messages, shared jokes, late-night calls. I told myself it was normal. But over time, it became something I couldn’t control.

She smiled on video calls. She laughed at my stupid jokes. She sent pictures of her life, little glimpses that made me feel connected. I told myself that connection was enough. That maybe someday, distance wouldn’t matter. That maybe someday, she’d feel the same way about me.

Then came the small favors. A book she wanted but couldn’t find locally. A gift card for her favorite store. Money for her internet bill when she said she was struggling. Each time, I told myself it was nothing. Each time, I told myself I wasn’t expecting anything back.

I was lying.

Months turned into years. I sent money to cover her emergencies. I stayed up at night because she said she was anxious. I rearranged my schedule to be awake when she was. I gave everything I had—time, attention, money, patience—because I believed that giving endlessly would make her notice me. That love could be bought with care.

It couldn’t.

She told me once, casually, that she had a new boyfriend. Someone she met in person. I smiled through the screen. I congratulated her. I even tried to sound happy. But when the call ended, I shut my laptop and let the tears fall.

I realized then what I had been doing. I wasn’t helping her because I cared about her life. I was helping her to be noticed. I was helping her because I wanted her to choose me. And the more I gave, the less I mattered.

I tried to stop. I told myself I’d take a break. But when she posted on social media or sent a message, I couldn’t resist. I still checked. I still sent small gifts. I still offered advice. Even knowing it was futile, I couldn’t let go.

I’ve lost count of how much I’ve spent. How many nights I’ve cried silently, wishing she would finally love me back. I’ve lost friends because I canceled plans. I’ve lost time I’ll never get back. I’ve lost pieces of myself along the way.

And the worst part? I can’t even be angry at her. She never promised me anything. She never led me on intentionally. I just believed that persistence could create love—and it can’t.

I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to reclaim the parts of me that I gave away without asking. I only know this:

Love is not earned through sacrifice.
Connection is not measured by how much you give.
And no one should disappear for someone who will never choose them.

I’m Renzo. I live in the Philippines. And I sent everything I had to someone who never loved me back.